17th of February 1974, Day of the Warrior, Year of the Tiger.
That's when I was born.
I'm here to fight my way through life, sometimes I have to remind it to myself.
Since I was a small kid I learnt that crying gets you nothing more than more crying, if I wanted something I had to deserve it, and most of the time I had to get it myself.
I've had wonderful examples to look up to in my existence, my mother first of all, never stopping the fight against cancer first and ALS later.
I've never been scared of facing the world whatever it brought me, from life saving decisions in hospitals to life changing decisions between continents, and I shouldn't be scared now only because it concerns something that I cannot control.
But since I can still fight I decided this is what I will do.
I will not take the medicines.
I know that it sounds like the exact opposite of fighting, it sounds like I'm letting it go and take the best of me, but that's not true.
My decision is based on a very important choice.
If I take the drugs my life will be forever dependent on them, I will have to go around with a note in my pocket with the name of the medicine for the anaesthetist in case I need emergency surgery, I won't be able to have a normal pregnancy, nor will I be able to nurse, not to mention the fact that I will have to live a life in constant caution and fear, always careful to what I do, always listening to my heart, is it beating ok?
Because of all this I decided not to take it.
I've had to face much worse things in life and this is not a good time to become weak, I have to go on and make things as simple as possible in order to be able to finally start living my own way with hopes and dreams.
I choose to live with the uncomfortable sensation that my heart is stopping and the hope that it will start beating again, the feeling of loneliness of having something that no one can see, of being walking along the streets among people and knowing that inside me there is something unique and so different that no one can really understand.
My heart is my soul, by rejecting the medicines I choose to accept who I am, I accept the fact that I've been born this way.
I do not expect everyone to understand that, but this is the way it is.
This is the way of the Warrior.
That's when I was born.
I'm here to fight my way through life, sometimes I have to remind it to myself.
Since I was a small kid I learnt that crying gets you nothing more than more crying, if I wanted something I had to deserve it, and most of the time I had to get it myself.
I've had wonderful examples to look up to in my existence, my mother first of all, never stopping the fight against cancer first and ALS later.
I've never been scared of facing the world whatever it brought me, from life saving decisions in hospitals to life changing decisions between continents, and I shouldn't be scared now only because it concerns something that I cannot control.
But since I can still fight I decided this is what I will do.
I will not take the medicines.
I know that it sounds like the exact opposite of fighting, it sounds like I'm letting it go and take the best of me, but that's not true.
My decision is based on a very important choice.
If I take the drugs my life will be forever dependent on them, I will have to go around with a note in my pocket with the name of the medicine for the anaesthetist in case I need emergency surgery, I won't be able to have a normal pregnancy, nor will I be able to nurse, not to mention the fact that I will have to live a life in constant caution and fear, always careful to what I do, always listening to my heart, is it beating ok?
Because of all this I decided not to take it.
I've had to face much worse things in life and this is not a good time to become weak, I have to go on and make things as simple as possible in order to be able to finally start living my own way with hopes and dreams.
I choose to live with the uncomfortable sensation that my heart is stopping and the hope that it will start beating again, the feeling of loneliness of having something that no one can see, of being walking along the streets among people and knowing that inside me there is something unique and so different that no one can really understand.
My heart is my soul, by rejecting the medicines I choose to accept who I am, I accept the fact that I've been born this way.
I do not expect everyone to understand that, but this is the way it is.
This is the way of the Warrior.
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